Frequently Asked Questions

If you are thinking of ending a relationship, the first thing to consider is if you are married. There are two ways in which a couple can marry: either through a legal marriage ceremony, or by “common law.” The only way to legally end a marriage is by getting a divorce.

You are married by common law if you and your spouse are over 18, are not married to anyone else, and you have held yourselves out as being married.

To determine the validity of your marriage, a judge will look at how you have acted together, including if you and your spouse use the same last names, have a child together, have told people you were married, leased an apartment as husband and wife, or filed joint income tax returns.

In Oklahoma, the courts may grant a divorce upon a single party petitioning the court regardless of whether or not the opposing party chooses to participate in the divorce.

To get a divorce in Oklahoma, a party must show that there are grounds for divorce. The most common ground for divorce is incompatibility. You and your spouse are considered incompatible if at least one of you is willing to testify that you cannot get along with the other party and that you want a divorce. Other common grounds for divorce include abandonment for one year and adultery.

When a divorce is uncontested, and when there are no minor children involved, the involved parties can typically expect a waiting period of 90 days between filing the petition and when the divorce can be granted by the court.

A divorce can be finalized in as little 10 days if there are no minor children. If a divorce is contested, it generally takes 90 days or more.

At the time of trial or settlement, the divorce court will divide the marital property and debts, determine child custody/visitation and child support, and grant the divorce if the couple hasn’t come to an agreement themselves. Support alimony and attorney fees and costs may also be awarded.

To file for divorce in Oklahoma, a party must file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage and cover sheet. In some instances they may have to file a summons.

A petition for divorce is filed in the county where either party involved has resided for the previous 30 days.

At the time your petition is filed, a summons is issued by the court clerk. A Petition for Divorce is served by a private process server, county sheriff, or by certified mail. At the same time, your family lawyer can make an application for a Temporary Order to be issued. A Temporary Order would direct your spouse to take specific actions. It could also restrain the spouse from doing certain things. Spouses are required to appear in court to testify as to the need for each temporary request.

After the papers have been served, the spouse has 20 days to file an answer. If a counterclaim is made, you are required to respond.

An automatic temporary injunction (ATI) comes into effect when a petition is served, and is intended to protect both parties. An ATI has provisions prohibiting certain financial expenditures and modifications to certain accounts and policies. This includes retirement accounts and insurance policies. Parties are also required to exchange certain documents within 30 days of service. Reading and abiding by the terms of the ATI is absolutely crucial, as any party found violating the ATI is subject to contempt of court.

In order to file for divorce in Oklahoma, you must have lived there for a minimum of six months. The case must be filed in the county in which your spouse lives, or in which you have lived for at least 30 days.

If your case involves minor children, you may be restricted to continue living in Oklahoma, unless you are given permission to relocate by the courts. If no minor children are involved in your case, then you may move outside of Oklahoma.

Unless your divorce between you and your spouse is amicable, you will likely need to hire an experienced divorce attorney. In cases where there are minor children involved, a family law attorney is highly recommended to help ensure that custody and visitation rights are settled to your best interests.

The court will decide which spouse gets custody of any child born to you and your spouse, even if the children were born before marriage. If you are unable to reach a child custody agreement, a trial will be held in court to decide what is in your child’s best interest. Some judges require that spouses go to mediation, where a neutral third person tries to create an arrangement both parties agree on. In some cases, couples agree to joint custody, which means they both decide together on all major decisions affecting the children.

Oklahoma, like most states, uses a “best interest of the child” standard to determine how child custody should be awarded. One of the factors courts take into consideration when deciding what qualifies as a child’s best interest includes his or her mental and physical well-being. The courts also consider if one parent is more or less likely to permit the child to have a relationship with the non-custodial parent. Oklahoma also allows children who are over the age of 12 to have a say in where they want to live, although courts do not base their final decision solely on a child’s particular preference.

There are two types of child custody in Oklahoma. The first is sole custody, which means that one parent in particular has sole decision-making authority over all major decisions affecting the child’s education, health, and moral upbringing. Sole custody also allows for visitation rights to other parents.

The second is joint custody, in which both parties are responsible for making major decisions regarding the child. When a divorce case is contested, child custody is decided by the court according to the best interests of the child.

Below are some guidelines concerning children of separated parents, called the “Ten Commandments of Proper Conduct for Separated Parents.”

Children typically suffer the most when their parents separate. Full time, proper guidance that two parents can give is taken away from them. It is this guidance and direction that is essential to their moral and spiritual growth.

Although there is likely bitterness between you and your spouse, it should never be inflicted upon your children. There must and should be an image of two good parents in every child’s mind.

Your future conduct and relationships with your children will benefit from following these suggestions:

1. Do not poison your child’s mind against their mother or father by discussing their shortcomings.
2. Do not expose your children to any member of the opposite sex with whom you may be emotionally involved.
3. Do not argue with the other parent during visitation exchanges.
4. Do not visit your children if you have been drinking or are under the influence of drugs.
5. Do not visit your children at unreasonable hours.
6. Do not fail to notify your spouse as soon as possible if you are unable to keep your visitation. It’s unfair to your children to keep them waiting, and even worse to disappoint them by not coming at all.
7. Make your visitation as pleasant as possible for your children by not questioning them regarding your spouse’s activities, and by not making extravagant promises which you know you cannot or will not keep.
8. The parent with whom the children live must prepare them both physically and mentally for the visitation. The children should always be available at the time mutually agreed upon.
9. If one parent has plans for the children that conflict with the visitation and these plans are in the best interests of the children, both parents should be adults and work to solve the problems together.
10. Always work for the spiritual well-being, happiness, health, and safety of your children.

Typically, parents who do not get custody of the children get visitation rights, which often includes contact with the children at least every other weekend, every other major holiday, and an extended period of time in the summer. That being said, visitation orders do vary. If the parent without custody is considered a danger to the children, the judge may restrict visitation, or require that visitation be supervised. There are several different grounds for restricting visitation, including drug use, abuse of the children or other parent, and alcohol problems.

Under Oklahoma law, there is no fixed visitation schedule required, however, each county and/or judge may have a standard visitation schedule and advisory guidelines that may be used when parties cannot come to an agreement. Most visitation schedules include a weekday and/or weekend visitation schedule, a holiday schedule, and/or a summer visitation schedule. It is important to check with your family lawyer, local county bar association or online with your county court website for more specific examples.

You should be aware that a visitation schedule is for the purpose of providing and assuring non-custodial parents the minimum amount of visitation time possible. Visitation should exceed the number of occasions that are set out in the schedule.

In accordance with Oklahoma law, both parties involved in divorce have an obligation to contribute financial support to the child. The amount each parent is responsible for paying is calculated through a specific formula. This formula factors in several different things, including income.

The parent who does not have primary custody is usually required to pay child support to the other parent. The amount of child support is based on the income of both parents. The other parent must also pay a part of the children’s medical expenses, day-care, and health insurance costs.

The Oklahoma Department of Human Services offers a free online child support calculator to assist spouses in determining an estimate of their potential child support.

If you and your spouse share parenting time, your child support obligation may be reduced. Under Oklahoma law, a non-custodial parent can receive a “shared parenting credit” if the child spends over 120 nights per year at his or her house. If a parent qualifies for the shared parenting credit, his or her child support is lowered by a percentage determined by the child support formula. The more nights the child spends with a parent, the more credits they receive.

Oklahoma law requires an obligor parent to continue paying child support until the child is 18 years of age, unless he or she is still in high school. If a child is over 18 but is still attending school, support must be paid until he or she graduates, or until they turn 19, whichever occurs first. If both parents agree in the parenting plan to continue to support the child past the required age, Oklahoma courts will enforce that agreement if a parent stops paying down the road.

There are several different options if a child support obligor deliberately quits their job to avoid paying child support. The court can use the obligor’s most recent income to calculate the child support. The court may examine the obligor’s education, training, and past work history to “impute” an income, which is an imaginary figure based on what the obligor may be capable of earning.

The court can divide most of the property that spouses acquired during the marriage, regardless of whose name it is in. If spouses are not able to agree on how to divide their savings, house, cars, furniture, and other property, the court will make that decision. The court may also return any separate property to its owner.

Separate property is property either spouse owned before marriage, or any property that was received during the marriage by gift or inheritance. The court also divides the various debts of the marriage. The only times the court may order the payment of separate property to the other spouse is to assist with childcare costs, or in the event, that spouse has very little income potential as compared to the spouse.

Marital property is property accumulated and money earned during the marriage, regardless of whose name is on the title.

Like many states, Oklahoma has repealed its community property laws and uses equitable division to determine which spouse gets what. This is primarily based on the income, needs, and contributions of each spouse. If there are children involved, those expenses are also factored into the decision. Oklahoma courts also accept a written agreement on how to divide marital property, but can intervene if an agreement cannot be reached.

Alimony is money that one spouse must pay to the other spouse for support. Alimony depends on the length of the marriage, the need and income of the other spouse, and various other factors. There are no clear guidelines on when a judge will order alimony, or how much the judge will order to be paid. The best way to find out about how alimony is determined and who must pay is to ask a family lawyer.

During a divorce, a woman can make a request to the judge to change her last name back to her maiden name or any other former name. The names of the children cannot be changed.

To start a divorce, papers must first be filed in court. Copies of the papers must then be delivered to the spouse. If a spouse cannot be located, a notice can be published in a local newspaper.

If there are children involved, there is a 90-day waiting period to get a divorce. In some counties spouses may be required to attend a class on the effects of divorce on children.

As soon as a petition for divorce is filed and served to a spouse, an Automatic Temporary Injunction goes into effect. Neither spouse can sell or give property away, damage property, take money from bank accounts, or transfer money. Spouses can use money they would normally use to take care of the children and various household expenses.

Some counties require spouses to attend a parenting plan conference to work out details surrounding the children during the divorce process. At the parenting plan conference the parents will sign a Temporary Order agreeing on child care, visitation, expenses, property, and budget. If spouses are unable to agree, they are required to go through mediation or even have a court hearing. Spouses may also request a Temporary Order for child support, living expenses, who is responsible for paying the debts, and who keeps the car or any other property, until the final divorce decree.

The Temporary Order must stay in effect until the court enters a final divorce decree.

A party must file an application for a Temporary Order listing requests to the court. A Temporary Order cannot be granted for custody, child support, possession of property, alimony, or exclusion from your home until the other party has been served with notice of a hearing. They must be served with a notice of hearing at least five days prior to a hearing on your request.

Under a very limited set of circumstances, and by following very specific procedures, an emergency order of custody may be granted without notice to your spouse if there is any chance of immediate and irreparable harm to the children. If this occurs, a hearing must be set within 10 days of the emergency order and notice of application filed.

If you are unable to serve your spouse, there are several different remedies you can seek, including service by publication.

There are many different options for order violations or failure to perform. If a party is found guilty of contempt of court, he or she could face a jail term of up to six months, a fine of up to $500, or a combination decided by the judge.

A failure to pay alimony, debt, or child support can result in garnishment of wages and/or bank accounts, and seizure of property. An income assignment can be requested. When an income assignment is requested, a spouse’s employer is directed to deduct wages from his or her paycheck in order to fund alimony or child support.

If child support exceeds $5,000, or has not been paid for one year, or if a spouse has left the state, a request can be made to the District Attorney to file felony criminal charges and issue an arrest warrant. If the violation includes criminal activity, such as breaking and entering or assault and battery, it is crucial to file a police report. Parties may also seek an Emergency Protective Order if there have been instances of domestic abuse, harassment, or stalking. A Protective Order may be filed in the county where the abuse occurred, the county where the defendant resides, or in the county where the victims reside.

When a case is settled, only one of the parties is required to go to court and give brief sworn testimony, although in most instances both parties will likely have to go to court on at least one occasion. Typically, a copy of the divorce decree is given to a spouse in advance. A signature must be obtained approving the decree.

No. Divorce cases in Oklahoma are tried before a judge only. An action for contempt filed during a divorce proceeding may be tried by a jury at the offending party’s request.

The discovery process begins when spouses disagree on issues during divorce. During this process, you, your attorneys, and your spouse:

• Identify any issues, debts, witnesses, and assets
• Exchange information such as health care information, bank statements, tax documents, credit card statements, and more.
• Ask and answer interrogatories (questions).

During the discovery process, information must be provided in an organized and timely manner to help speed up the process and keep costs down.

A divorce is final on the day it is granted by the judge and the decree is filed with the court clerk. You are legally considered a single person once the judge pronounces you divorced.

A filing fee must be paid in order to file for divorce. Serving the divorce papers costs more, but the amount you pay depends on the method being used. If you cannot afford the court costs, you can file a pauper’s affidavit. A pauper’s affidavit is a type of form summarizing your financial situation. If a judge decides that you cannot afford to pay court costs, he or she may let you file the case for free.

Each divorce case varies, which makes it difficult to estimate how much it will cost. Most family lawyers in Oklahoma will charge a retainer fee on matters which are contested, while several will charge a flat fee on uncontested divorces.

Clients are responsible for filing fees and any other additional out-of-pocket expenses.

A party may not remarry within the state of Oklahoma for a period of six months following the entry of the divorce decree. If you and your spouse reconcile during these six months, a joint application can be filed and the decree will be set aside, as long as neither party has remarried a third party during the six month period. There are no restrictions upon when a person can start dating.

The best way to get a divorce is to hire a family law attorney. Most divorce attorneys require a retainer, or deposit, at the beginning of the divorce case. Once this is paid, the lawyer then typically charges an hourly rate against the deposit.

Many people decide to do their own divorces. Even if you decide to go this route, it is in your best interest to consult with a family law attorney first.